i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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