I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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