Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
