ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
