is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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