It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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