You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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