I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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