I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize