Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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