I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Boobs speak an international language.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You pole danced in your parka.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I have post one night stand depression
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
