i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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