I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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