this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
