Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
50% drunk capacity currently
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
