So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
