I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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