I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
