she was so not down for the gang bang
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
