my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
