I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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