I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
