I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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