do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
