tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My pussy is not your playground.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
