u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
