I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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