you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize