No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
