Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
