i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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