did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
