Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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