My friends, they love my intelligence
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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