My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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