If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize