we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
