So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have tasted many bathrooms
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
