Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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