All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
