I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
