Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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