omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
