i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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