16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
