My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
