these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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