i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
