I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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