We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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