We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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