Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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