We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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