I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize