Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
