East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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