I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
