lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
