SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
