Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize