I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
