She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
