He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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