i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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