Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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