I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I love having hate sex.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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