I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dignity is for republicans.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
